App Review: A+ Pickup Lines
I’m ashamed that I even downloaded this app. Certainly if I run for political office in the future, some meddling media hound will plunder my iTunes history, note that I got “A+ Pickup Lines” at one point in my past, and use it to destroy any hopes I have of running the country.
Seriously, it’s that bad. First of all, the so-called, “A+ Pickup Lines” are a D- at best. I give it a D because some schmuck out there took the time to come up with these lines. Even though they’re crap, thought and effort (minimal at best) was put into them. The minus was added because of the cheesy, slightly sleezy silhouette background. The app gets 1 star because you do get about five minutes of fun by flipping through the lines, showing your friends and rolling your eyes, before you delete the whole thing and move on with your life.
Ranging from the gross, “If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning,” to the offensive, “Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I’ll understand if you spit,” to the practically retarded, “Did you ride a Unicorn here today? Wanna ride mine home?” every “pickup line” in this app is beyond ridiculous and will get you anything but laid. A slap in the face, maybe — a hook up? Never.
Imagine. You’re at a bar, you see some hottie and you want to open a conversation. You memorize the line from your A+ Pickup Lines app, walk over to her and say … “I think you and I should dipthong.”
Ok. Really? Do I need to write any more?